Women are meant to be loved, not to be funny good morning quotes.
-Oscar Wilde
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I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
-Scott Adams
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
-Richard Jeni
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Love is hiding who you are at all times. It’s wearing make-up to bed and good night quotes to Burger King to poop.
-30 Rock
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It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.
-Lucille Ball
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Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-Joan Crawford
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Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.
-Natasha Leggero
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Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-George Carlin
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I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
-Unknown
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First love is a kind of vaccination which saves man from catching the complaint the second time.
-Honore de Balzac
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I love you and it’s getting worse.
-Joseph E. Morris
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You call it madness, but I call it love.
-Don Byas
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Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
-Mae West
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To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-Oscar Wilde
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Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
-Woody Allen
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Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love
-Albert Einstein
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Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
-Jules Renard
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
-Charles Schulz
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Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
-Lynda Barry
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Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
-Lemony Snicket
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It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one’s neighbor.
-Eric Hoffer
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Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-Ambrose Bierce
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People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
-Bob Hope
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You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.
-Jarod Kintz
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Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.
-Jerry Seinfeld
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The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
-G.K. Chesterton
Related: The Funniest Relationship Quotes
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Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
-Miss Piggy
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To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.
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Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.
-Nicholas Sparks
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Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
-Albert Einstein
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I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your mother daughter quotes.
-Rita Rudner
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Love is being stupid together.
-Paul Valery
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Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-W. Somerset Maugham
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You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
-Hussein Nishah
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If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people
-Jarod Kintz
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Love is like war, easy to begin but hard to end.
-Leo Buscaglia
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What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
-Pearl Bailey
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The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.
-Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
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Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
-Unknown
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No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
-Unknown
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If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
-Chuck Palahniuk
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I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
-Russell Brand
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Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-Charlie Brown
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Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
-Franklin P. Jones
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